Of Nudesday

June 3rd, 2019 / Peter Petty

| A silhouette Nude

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By now everyone that I know has basked in the glory that is Martha Kay’s nudes. A lot has been said. The Baganda wished she had disfigured herself the way they are known to. The rest of the world was pleased.

I am not going to go down the road of discussing her nudes. After all I believe that discussion is in pointless. Nudes are nudes.

I am here to discuss the dangerous level of hypocrisy that followed right after the nudes leaked.

Friday 12pm, my phone kept buzzing. I was wondering what the hullabaloo was all about but remembering I am fighting for employee of the month with some ambitious chick called Ritah, I decided not to touch my phone till lunch hour.

I gave up on the fight for employee of the month when my porn guy, Stiffy-a chap I studied with in school, called.

“Ffala, Martha Kay’s nudes are out and you are there working?” he asked.

I immediately checked my WhatsApp to find one lousily taken photo. During the course of the day I was to see more photos. By the time I write this, I am still waiting for the famed, now delayed video.

I write this in response to a series of posts I have seen a number of Ugandans have written in response to the leaking of Martha Kay’s nudes.

Most people have said they stand with her because she is a victim of revenge porn. They say her body has been ridiculed. They go further ahead to blame someone named the patriarchy who has ensured that each time intimate photos of women leak, men come out to ogle at them and lust after them.

I will pause here and first laugh.

You open your legs in a fancy tiled apartment. Ask some smartphone wielding chap to take photos of your naked self. Yet you want the world to not share your photos when they receive them? And for them not to lust after them because that is portraying women as sex objects? What kind of shallow reasoning is this?

Most of you have wondered why men’s nudes never trend. And as usual have gone ahead to blame the patriarchy. Patriarchy has apparently taught men to sexually view women. In other words, the solution to this is if men can view men sexually too. That way we have gender equality.

Let me contextualise this.

Some owl-resembling twat, who probably jerks himself to sleep each night, thought it would be funny to create a list. As a result, he had numerous horny Ugandan men text the numbers believing they would get lucky. No one deserves to have their numbers published in some sures list. Absolutely no one does. That is because it is not through their own doing.

But for nudes? Come on! Are we going to have us believe that you took them thinking that they would be just for your partner to look at? Where have you been?

Before yours, we saw Desire Luzinda and a host of other celebrities. Do you for one reason think that you could be different?

The biggest hypocrites are the ones who continue to stand with Martha.

No matter how much blaming we make, the world is not about to stop and be good to an individual simply because the nudes were meant to for someone else.

Piece of unsolicited advice dear friends: Stop taking nudes and hoping the person you send them to will not send them to someone else or use them after you two are finished. That is wishful academic thinking.

The moment you are exposed, you will just have people standing with you on Twitter and that is it. They will use conjured up words like womyn and mansplaining to blame the patriarchy and that is it. Your name will be added on a list of those before you and those that will come after you. No amount of standing with you will take away the fact that people saw your naked body seated on a bathtub!

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Peter Petty

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