Nudes - To Leak Or Not To Leak?

June 3rd, 2019 / Andrew Kiwanuka Musoke
| Nudes spice up relationships

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The habit of leaking nudes is a common practice among men. They share these photos that were privately shared with them, without the consent of their partner, often after breaking up.

As men, I'm of the view that we have to do our part by taking the responsibility of not leaking the nudes of a woman who once trusted us, to share them with us.

I stumbled upon something said by a man, which I found rather appaling.  

He said, "Stop taking nudes and hoping the person you send them to will not send them to someone else or use them after you two are finished. That is wishful academic thinking."

I believe by the time a lady sends nudes more so with her face in them, there is a certain level of trust between her and the man she's sharing them with.

The act of men leaking women's nudes is a case of men shooting themselves in the foot like we claim the feminists do at times.

We're visual. More often than not, those nudes appeal to us more than they appeal to the sender, who often derives a sense of validation from feeling attractive to their man and probably nothing more beyond that.

It feels empowering for a woman to feel attractive to her man. It's only normal.

In the moment, it's kind of a win-win but I'd say many women do it because they're aware that their men like them, kind of like having sex with him, sometimes even when she's not in the mood.

Sometimes, sending nudes is a win-loss for the woman since she's in her most physically vulnerable state and handing this to the man she's in love with AT THAT MOMENT. We actually have to give women credit for that level of courage to trust over and over again even after being screwed over or watching their friend get screwed over when their nudes were leaked by an ex.

I'd say women sharing nudes is just another way of appealing to the primal urges of their male loved one; the same way men profess their love and compliment their women to appeal to their primal urges as well. You tell her she's beautiful because it appeals to her more than it serves you.

In my opinion, nudity is just another aspect of the vulnerability associated with relationships but in this case, it is commonly experienced by women since nudity appeals more to men because they are visual. I'd say it's why porn predominantly targets men and erotica predominantly targets women.

When you translate the vulnerability of a woman in her nude state on her man's phone, you start to realise that men also experience a similar sense of vulnerability with women on an emotional, economic & social scale since emotions, social status & financial security often appeal more to women than men, again due to the primal urges.

If women got up and exposed their men at their most vulnerable moments with them, we'd change how we look at so many men.

If women took pictures of our bank statements and leaked them yet we're pretending to be fine and they still stand with us even when we're at our poorest, we'd be just as humiliated or even worse. There's men buying people alcohol at the bar yet things are rough, but they have to preserve their status.

If women leaked screenshots of our conversations begging them to give us another chance after cheating on them yet we tell our friends otherwise, "She came back, She had to come back," etcetera, we'd be ashamed.

There's plenty more vulnerable situations. Men and women are both vulnerable to one another, but I haven't yet heard of a woman leaking a man's bank statements after they break up. There's more nudes than bank statements out there, yet she could know where he keeps his documents; in the third drawer in a white envelope.

When a relationship or marriage is real, stuff gets real. We inevitably become vulnerable to one another and drop the facade.

I totally condemn the act of leaking someone's nudes for a number of reasons.

Women hold down their men on so many occasions. They pay rent for their boyfriends at times when things are not good. Women sometimes fuel their men's cars. Women buy us groceries, airtime, anything.

Heck! Women send their men money when things are not good. But they don't go around chanting "I sent Hillary money because he's broke." I have not yet seen a screenshot of a woman sending mobile money to her man circulating, but it happens. They don't hang us out there. Let's be respectful enough and return the favour.

We cannot overlook moments of vulnerability as they are part of the general human experience. It's outrageous to call it "wishful thinking" for a woman to expect us to keep their vulnerable moment of nudity (to impress us) private regardless of which direction our relationship takes. That's because it happened in context of trust & privacy.

The act of leaking nudes honestly says a lot more about the man who's leaked them than the woman in the picture.

It's like that friend who helps you then goes around telling the world that they helped you.

We can honestly do better as men! Let's be more mature, more respectful and have the dignity not to share the vulnerability of those we share(d) something special with in public spaces.

The more we give women reason not to send us nudes out of fear that we might leak them to others, the more we lose out on the visual aspect of our sexuality.

Share with us your thoughts.

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    kayombya robin smith September 24th, 2019

    I jxt feel lyk i wana join u guyz ur thng is dope