Of Monthly Girlfriend Allowances

May 8th, 2020 / Hillary K Bainny
| Women want to be showered with all gifts

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Cristiano Ronaldo is clearly not a cheap boyfriend. The Portuguese professional soccer player is more than willing to share a piece of his great fortune with his girlfriend Georgina Rodriguez. According to The Sun, the 35-year-old athlete, gives his baby mama a $100,000 ( Shs. 380m) allowance every month to fund her lavish lifestyle.

These are the days of no money, no love. Let's talk about boyfriends, girlfriends and the appropriateness of giving monthly allowances to someone you are in a relationship with.

“We should all be feminists”, encourages the celebrated African writer and feminist, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie. But how does this fit with a reality in which young Ugandan girls say they want their boyfriends to pay them allowances. When the Ugandan Government and parents are paying huge fees to educate the youth, society expects them to embrace progressive notions. 

Financial talks can be uncomfortable to have in any situation (just think about how people tiptoe around discussing their salaries, even at work!). But when you're dating someone you care about, money convos can be even more awkward to have with them. This is especially true if you find yourself in a situation where you need to ask your partner for money... or vice versa. Yikes.

Of course, while every situation and relationship is different - and there's no right answer for how to have these kinds of talks - take solace in the fact that you're not alone if you think they're touchy.

Unsurprisingly, one of the most discussed, often controversial aspects of relationships is money and its application. Issues about cab or uber fares after visits, who pays during dates, how much one needs to earn before considering a relationship, etc have been debated on social media in the recent past.

One other aspect of this money discussion is the practice of giving a girlfriend money at the end of every month for her upkeep - Monthly Girlfriend Allowance. This money is actually known as Bae Allowance – money a guy gives his girlfriend at the end of each month for her random needs.

Recently I had a discussion with friends, who introduced me to this interesting yet controversial topic. To them, Bae allowance is cool… According to these friends, ( One gentleman and two ladies).........There is nothing stopping anyone from giving money to a girlfriend. Heck, there's even no rule about how frequent it should be or how much it should be.

It is not illogical for a man to want to spoil his woman in all manners he deems fit. If a monthly allowance is one of the ways he chooses to appreciate his woman's presence in her life, then, no one should give such a guy grief for that. For the guys who feel comfortable doing so, it is admirable and nice. And you should never feel discouraged by people to stop if you see no problem with it.

Bae allowance may not be wrong but it should never be a relationship benchmark for anyone. If you date someone who gave you a monthly, weekly or daily allowance, it is important to understand that such a person did it as a largesse and not a compulsory or widely-expected relationship standard.

Bae allowance is not on the same pedestal of relationship expectations as communication, honesty, gift-giving and others. This is why every money [whether monthly or less frequently] between partners needs to be appreciated for the gifts they are, and not demanded as if it is a contractual obligation.

As I am to say in another post here, your boyfriend does not owe you the duty of giving you money, just as you do not owe him the duty of cooking his meals or tidying up his apartment in your visits.

People should do these things because they are capable and want to do so. No one should be compelled to do them.

There are relationship things you can demand because you are entitled to them; a monthly allowance, as nice as it is, isn't one of them. The price of this feeling has skyrocketed beyond major. One just can’t find himself in a relationship without having to fork out the so-called girlfriend allowance.

Like really?

Yes, really! These sharp pangs that one feels at the pit of the stomach, I mean that kind of feeling that gets the knees weak while you smile each time you think of your loved one have become so expensive. The cost of this so-called affection range between Peruvian or Brazilian hairpieces, head to toe outfits and the latest smart phones - iPhones definitely.

This is no longer funny!

Anyway, the point is that as I grow older, I tend to be more critical of the things I once thought were normal. It is normal for a man to provide for his wife — not a girlfriend!

This is just ludicrous!

Someone once sang ‘love doesn't cost a thing’. Pity even that artist has been collecting diamonds as a fee of her affection. I digress; let me revert to my focus — love being intertwined with exorbitant fees- girlfriend allowance. For the life of me, I fail to fathom ‘why on earth is money a prerequisite of being in a relationship?'

I mean, with the youth fighting so hard to secure scholarships and allowances to fund their education, there is a ‘Rose’ somewhere waiting for her boyfriend to pay her for being in love!!!!!

Trust me, the payment is nonchalantly introduced. ‘My hair is a mess and I need to go to the salon!’ A reflex of the sarcastic instinct in me comes to play. Subconsciously I think - ‘Do I own a salon?’ Just like the cartoon character Tom, who is always chasing Jerry, I find my empathy speeding to mute my vocal chords. It unfortunately leaves me with a gaping mouth like some fool who just saw a ghost.

Anyways, I don’t want to bore you with the costs that usually follow this request. Actually, you find that the fee of the hair alone costs what a family in Ibanda pays to educate a child per term.

Maybe I am old school and believe love is about getting that someone who is willing to better you. I mean the woman who cherishes quality time with you than that who wants to be seen in malls and all social circles - looking on point - yet she has no source of income other than you, the boyfriend!

In the social media world, I have recently seen people whining about fashion revolving and hoping honesty and true love become fashionable again! I join that fray and pray those seeking ‘girlfriend allowance’ should just forward curriculum vitaes to the suitor and seek employment. That way, they would get the scope of their tasks and be informed of the monthly allowance to be remunerated! The nonsensical excuse that girlfriends perform wifely duties just doesn’t sit with me. If the man gets sex, so does the woman. It just should not be a transaction! 

Actually, its plain prostitution! It becomes less of the attention or caresses you receive from your boyfriend but how much you can earn.

Share with us your thoughts.

  • User Avatar
    Francis Alimpisa May 9th, 2020

    I agree that "bae-allowances" should not be a prerequisite for a relationship. Otherwise, those that buy into "bae-allowances" stand a risk of advancing a notion that love is a commodity and should be transacted. Whoever demands the aforesaid allowance,

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