Of Boring Dates

June 24th, 2019 / Hillary K Bainny
| Date Gone Wrong

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Have you ever been on a boring date? Did you struggle trying to think about faking a phone call from a friend? Did you fake a smile until it was over and thought about not paying her bill?

If you are having a bad time on a date, say she is not giving you attention, she is only interested in the food and drinks, and not you, you can go home whenever you want, call an Uber, call a friend, invent a reason to leave or even leave with no explanation. You can't and don't deserve to keep up with such persons.

You expected a fun, interesting and memorable date and it’s just not going how you hoped, it’s polite to let them know how you are feeling to just say you aren’t feeling it and don’t want to waste her time or yours. She can't just be there to keep taking selfies of herself as you talk to her. It is disappointing.

It is worth noting that a bad date is not a reflection on you. You aren't the reason she made the date all about her appetite and selfie-excitement. You are not the reason she could barely come up with a nice conversation beyond Cardi B's latest release. Unless the date went badly because you were rude or did something inappropriate, then you never react by trying to change yourself.

Dating is a process. Sadly, not every step of that process is enjoyable but, hopefully, you can learn from the low points to make the high points even better. Once you’ve identified what went wrong, make sure you apply that learning to future dates.

Is there a particular personality trait that you now know you don’t work well with? Are there conversation topics you’ve realised you’d rather avoid? Do you need to change up the date venue? Perhaps a first date activity, rather than drinks or dinner, would make you feel more comfortable next time?

Here are some tips you can try out next time so as to avoid another bad or boring date.

Do some digging on what your date likes prior to the date. We are in the age of the Internet. The internet knows us, more than we may even know each other. This also works if you’re going on a first date with someone you were hooked up with through a friend. This way, you get to know them somewhat prior to the date. This way you learn some of their likes and dislikes. Then create a date far more enjoyable for them. That way they won’t feel awkward or have to pretend to enjoy something.

Be Keen on what they like to talk about. Listening and observation techniques are critical when it comes to this. It’s usually obvious when someone really enjoys a particular topic. They look excited, start talking fast, and seem to hold on and on about it. While it may not be the most interesting thing to you, keep talking about that. After all, it is all about compromise. If they feel as though they could really talk with you about something they’re passionate about, it’s major bonus points for you. You won’t seem boring to them. It also shows that you are giving them attention.

Get Original and interactive. Don’t just go sit at a movie and then go to dinner. If you really want to be fun and not boring, go on a date that’s interactive. Meaning, go on a date that you actually do stuff. Maybe a walk, sporting activity, quiz night, and really anything you participate in. This is very original and keeps you engaged.

Challenge them. Girls love their men intelligent and they like it when challenged. A date that’s challenging, one that makes her or both of you think, is the most entertaining of all dates. You sure won't be bored. That means you should ask them things to make them think and engage in challenging topics. Or plan to do something competitive- I highly suggest you download QuizUp and online mental challenges.

Don’t be self-centered. The date isn't about you, but both of you. People who talk about themselves all the time are the most boring types. I realize you’re on a date to get to know one another, so you obviously must mention things about yourself. Forget not to ask a few questions….. BUT, you don’t want it to seem like they’re in an interview instead of a date. However, don’t just sit there and go over all your favorites without ever giving them a chance to think or respond. That’s boring for them, and it makes you seem boring in turn.

Lastly, for every date, ensure that she has every reason to want to see you again. A little humor will always do you wonders.    

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