Of #uot

May 19th, 2019 / Peter Petty
| A twitter user

Share on Twitter

I am sorry I went AWOL for some time. I had such a crazy work schedule that I barely got time to piece together my thoughts. Worry not, I encountered a number of annoying things which I will share with you over the course of the coming weeks.

However before I even get to those, I have been itching to vent my frustration with Ugandans on Twitter. (And as is always the case with lazy Ugandans, Ugandans on Twitter has since been shortened to UoT)

I asked my editor not to correct this one because then my rant risks being watered down. I want this stool as hard as it can get.

I continue to read Ugandan tweets and I cannot help but shake my head.

It is not enough that every single Ugandan I have come across has ‘social media influencer’ or the equivalent scribbled somewhere in their bio. Must you people just have to be excessively thoughtless even on Twitter?

What I find more annoying on Twitter is the hype that these so called cool children who went to SMACK and Namilyango can have for things. You guys brought us Fik Fameica, we said eh! You sold us Krusty Krab we said kinda. And now you guys want to sell us Fresh Kid? Come on! Come on UoT!

I recall those days when UoT hyped the Markitah 5Aside-a makeshift binge drinking and profanity fair where the so called twelebs came to prey on freshers from Makerere.(A tweleb is a Twitter celebrity by the way) Some of these twelebs were 5 children old!

UoT sensationalised a now struggling songstress back in the day.  They said her curves were out of this world. Now that I look at our choice for Miss Curvy, I am tempted to think there was a borrowing of brains.

The recent squabble between Sheilah Gashumba and UoT over the latter’s alleged violation of her image rights confirmed the fault in revelling in ignorance. Expert lawyers on the timeline opined that Sheilla Gashumba had a case that had potential to secure her millions in damages. But no, expert tweeps decided that in abusing and cyber bullying Sheilla the case she intended to institute would fizzle away.

I recall a time when a group of presumed right thinking members of society had a debate on the adequacy of a salary of 500K. By that time most of those small minded fellows were paid in entry tickets for “social media influencing” for an event! These tickets went for as low as 20K!

These “influencers” came strongly against a cross section of Ugandans who work hard for their 500K and actually get it. While the actual earners worked to put the 500K into their pockets, our friends tried pulling them down whilst sipping on potent gin to help them forget their problems.

And the high standards that these kids have cultivated for themselves are not even there. They sleep hungry, most of these kids. They are willing to have sex in exchange for alcohol and food. They smell too and horribly. That is because most of them cannot afford decent housing. They ration their water but will call others out for having the same disorder.

Some of them are school drop outs. They made a few quick bucks from creating product awareness using memes. So they grew excited at the prospect that this could earn them daily bread. Who wouldn’t slip into that life? Isn’t earning even 100K per gig for sitting in one place and reporting everything you see very decent?

Can we talk about how UoT are so childish and needy? I would be remiss to mention two grown up men who failed to become class monitors whilst in school and decided to appoint themselves leaders of UoT. I will not go into the hundreds of girls who have shifted their need for attention from Instagram to Twitter.

The pinnacle of human stupidity was once again with UoT this week. Minister Ronald Kibuule lost his twin sons in an alleged drowning incident and UoT told him that he deserved it. Tweeps celebrated that misfortunes had befallen his house! Reason: He is NRM leaning and has a powerful mansion and also that he evicted a whole village!  

Cynics like myself enjoy Twitter. UoT are sometimes fun. I read some really crazy tweets that get me laughing for days but I think it is proper to review Ugandan twitter as a cocktail of self-centred, broke show-offs who could do anything for money and fame. As I tell my friends, starve them of this attention and some of them might just go back to school and lead better lives.

Let us keep this conversation flowing on Twitter: @PeterPetty

Share with us your thoughts.

No comments added yet