As we were having sex, she farted. It happened twice. The first time we just ignored it and she didn’t say anything. Then the second time, she got weirdly defensive - "Those are vaginal farts," she said. "Babes, I know vaginal queefs don't stink," I thought to myself.
Either way, I didn't mind it, but she felt uncomfortable about it. We both had been drinking and I told her, that she couldn’t help it. She still felt judged and uncomfortable because I had said something about it.
That said, sex may be one of the most beautiful, intimate moments you can share with someone. But between the tossing, turning, and sweating (not to mention other bodily fluids) every couple is bound to have their share of bedroom mishaps. Every so often, sex with your special someone will make you blush. And that’s OK. Because despite what the movies want us to believe, there are some pretty embarrassing things that happen during sex.
Look, our bodies are not perfect. They create noises and fluids whenever they want, weirding out any unsuspecting person. Put two bodies together in a bed, add a few intricate moves, and you’re basically asking for an awkward moment. But you can relax, because as embarrassing as these moments may seem, they are totally normal! And they happen to most people.
You have all experienced the "Vaginal fart moment" right? Vagina farts, also known as queefing is that moment when her vagina lets out a noisy burst of wind. This usually happens when she's having some crazy good sex, as the extra hard thrusting makes it easier for air to get trapped in her vagina. Totally normal, but still totally embarrassing.
Also, occasionally farting during sex is normal, yes, the real farting!!! She is human and has a human body. And the human body is unpredictable, and unintentionally hilarious, pleasurable, and real. These are inseparable. Yet women in particular are held to absurd and objectifying ideals that eliminate the realities of their bodies, instead requiring them to constantly adhere to fantasies of feminine perfection.
There’s a lot of boning, and when you consider that the average person farts about 14 times a day, (that’s once every 1.7 hours) and sex lasts (generously) 30 minutes with foreplay, the odds are quite good that the two of you will overlap at some point.
Usually, women pass wind during their orgasm, the blended orgasm. If you're having intercourse and he's on top of you, the motion of being pushed and pulled and/or him lying on your stomach can force wind out. The penis is also rubbing against the anus, through the vaginal wall. When women climax, the muscles around the genitals relax, letting any trapped gas escape.
If he’s performing oral sex and you can feel that you’re about to pass gas, just grab him up and kiss him. If he’s determined to stay down there, a quick “Come up for a second babe, I need to fart and don’t want to do it in your face” gives him a warning, and really shouldn’t cause anything but a giggle, a kiss, and a return to what you were doing.
It happens and it's nothing to be embarrassed about. Sex is meant to be noisy, sweaty and smelly! Fart in peace!!
Hillary is the Founder of hillarykbainny.com. He is also the Uganda Youth Leader to UN. He is a Debate and Speech Protagonist. He is also the Founder of Public Policy Forum Uganda. He is a Sexual Revolutionist
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