From the days I got sexually active and freely engaged in sex conversations, one thing has been a constant- women complaining about boring sex and sexual dissatisfaction. Women today have made it seem like for sex to be great, a man must bring his A-game, the famous D-game.
Last Friday, I set out to get to know from my own circles about this Sex puzzle. What better place to have this conversation than my whatsapp status story feed!!! I asked friends for their honest opinion on “What makes someone great in bed?”
From an objective perspective, it's important to acknowledge that what makes someone good in bed isn't the same across the board. Pleasure is subjective, and everybody experiences and explores their sexuality in different ways, on their own terms.
When it comes to good sex, and what makes someone good at sex, priorities vary from person to person. Some people value certain things over others, such as foreplay or communication. Most want a variety of differing attributes.
Truthfully, there are many things that intersect to make someone a truly fantastic lover. There are no right or wrong answers. Being good in bed is about having empathy, knowing what a person wants, communication, foreplay, and much more.
The answers I got from my friends are enlightening, heartwarming, and pretty damn sexy.
Andrew: “I think a combination of several variables, some being personal preferences.”
Kevin: “The vibration counts a lot. It shows that me as man am doing something. The more a woman vibrates and screams the more i'll hit it hard.... Making it good for both of us ?????.”
Sheila: “Communication and honesty.”
Vanessa: “COMMUNICATION. If you are able to tell me what you like and how you like it, as well as what you don’t like and how to avoid it, you’re helping me to stop worrying about what to do. And if I’m not worrying, I can relax and have fun…which means I’m going to enjoy what you’re doing to me a hell of a lot more.”
Wilber: “Understanding not every encounter will end in orgasm for one or both partners, and realizing there's nothing wrong with that.”
Agasha: “Someone who focuses on your pleasure and satisfaction, and puts in the effort to learn what you enjoy and make sure you finish, instead minding his own cum. Find a partner that will make sure you orgasm as often as they do. That's what makes a great lover.”
Communication is very critical in bed, and the earlier we debunked the myth that asking what someone likes in bed is "unsexy," the better sex- we shall have. There is nothing wrong about getting in bed with someone who cares about pleasuring you enough; to verbally ask what turns you on. I actually find this very sexy.
And for the record, the chances of climaxing (another sexy thing) are a lot higher if there is some communication going on, you feel me?
That said, have you ever climaxed with your partner, at the same time? Wouldn’t this be the epitome of sexy and “Sex greatness?”
Hillary is the Founder of hillarykbainny.com. He is also the Uganda Youth Leader to UN. He is a Debate and Speech Protagonist. He is also the Founder of Public Policy Forum Uganda. He is a Sexual Revolutionist
Hillary K Bainny 2024. All Rights Reserved. Designed by Buzen Technologies Co. Ltd
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