It is common for many young couples to experience societal pressure today. Unsurprisingly, this is due to unrealistic media portrayals of weddings. Remember when Prince William and Kate Middleton got married? Their guest list was reported to be around 1,900, and they held (literally) a fairytale royal wedding.
The purpose of this article is to help you have a better idea of what your perfect wedding day looks like, and how much it will cost. It doesn't need to reflect "society's standards" or have a price tag north of shs. 60m. It just needs to create memories and laughter.
The important thing is that you stick to your values and enjoy your day in a way that doesn't burden your new start together.
People in relationships, today don't want to get married because of the too much pressure that comes with the wedding. Since they don't have the money, they decide not to get married now.
In my country, getting married is a marathon of activities; from Kukyala to Introduction to Wedding, not forgetting the bachelor and bachelorette parties that complete the package.
kukyala is a small meeting usually involving the parents and guardians of both sides as well as the "yet to be spouses." Introduction or kwanjula is a larger scale kukyala that involves the rest of the family and friends. More often than not the kukyala might not be known to have happened by everyone but then the introduction is an official announcement of sorts to friends and family.
It's Introduction is a traditional engagement party. Some people also look at it as a traditional wedding ceremony. I think we're sailing towards a point where people execute the functions in a similar manner but define what it means to them differently.
Unfortunately, as anyone planning a wedding knows, the more the parties and or the larger your guest list, the more expensive your wedding becomes. To some couples, the price tag is worth it if it means getting to see their loved ones.
It’s also common to feel pressured to have a beautiful, lavish wedding if your friends are, too. People have a habit of comparing weddings when there’s a string of them happening, and the last thing you want is your wedding to be seen as the “least popular” or least fun.
But the reality is that the value of marriage is much greater than the wedding itself. Someone is better off in marriage, than when not married, for you are happier, healthier and make more money.
So when you are thinking of the wedding, think about what really matters. Now is the time to consider what you want to get out of your wedding, and the experience you want your guests to have. Try to remember what you enjoyed and disliked about weddings you’ve attended previously. Is there anything that stands out? Anything you think you’d regret not doing?
Just be honest about what you need to make your day perfect, and what would be nice to have if the money happens to be there for it. And while you want your guests to have a good time, don’t let them get the final say in your plans.
Factor in the fact that you are spending alot of money for and on things you are not going to need in marriage. But think of this, the average wedding in Uganda today is 40-50m. This is also ridiculous to me.
You will soon need an apartment or house to move into with your new spouse, which could cost you quite a penny- when you start living together. Do you think of the debts you have? The investments plans you have?
To the contrary, for many women, it’s an event they’ve been dreaming of for years; it’s a once-in-a-lifetime event. It’s easy to justify spending on that basis alone but step outside the wedding box for a second. Your high school prom, university graduation, baptism, etc. were also once-in-a-lifetime events. You don’t see many people spending over shs. 20m on those, do you?
Better to spend your money on the other things you need, not your wedding. You need to use this money especially in the early days of your marriage. This is a very critical stage in marriage, for it could make or break you.
What if something happens to you after your marriage? What if one of you becomes critically ill? If you saved enough money and didn't spend it lavishly on your wedding, you can get through such unforeseen events. Remember, it won't be long before a baby gets in.
Pre-marital debt is killing marriages. Debt can act as a corrosive agent in marriage, for debt causes stress in the moment, fear for the future. High levels of debt play havoc in the lives of newly married couples. Debt is associated with less time spent together, more fighting, and significantly lower levels of marital happiness. Debt will make it hard for the newly-weds to buy a car, or house- With such situations, the marriage is bound to crash.
Budgeting simply means aligning your spending with your values, so you have money left to spend on the things you treasure. Spending on your wedding should also be a reflection of your values - as they pertain to your special day and the rest of your life. If parents do want to contribute to your wedding, look at the portions. Split it for easier accountability.
I would however advice taking this contribution as a cheque (saving) and using it to meet post-wedding needs, rather than getting into debt. This way, you could have other alternatives too, maybe a big honeymoon, big first anniversary, after you are a little more settled.
In conclusion, there are many positives that go with marriage. Don't let the wedding inhibit you from getting there. Marriage is awesome!!!!!!.
Hillary is the Founder of hillarykbainny.com. He is also the Uganda Youth Leader to UN. He is a Debate and Speech Protagonist. He is also the Founder of Public Policy Forum Uganda. He is a Sexual Revolutionist
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