Why Do Women Shy Away From Sex Conversations?

April 30th, 2019 / Hillary K Bainny

| A couple seated at the dock

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What do you do when you get horny in public?

This is a question I have asked a couple of people, and decided, I need to write about because few people are that honest about their “horn” moments, especially the ladies.

I must admit that it's unfortunate, our society has made it really embarrassing for many ladies to talk about their own sexual desire. And I wish that wasn't the case. I don't want it to be so damn difficult, for our beloved sisters..

“Messi is like pornography, we all like him (it), but won’t admit it in public,” I am certain, in your circles or whatsapp groups, such a joke has been shared.

Well, there’s nothing more unnerving than having a conversation that revolves around SEX. Such a vulgar word yet it’s something that’s enjoyed by all.

Everyone’s been doing it and had it not been for our parents we wouldn’t be here. Sex is something that is inevitable, fun, exciting and so many other things I’d rather not mention. And it baffles me why so many women cannot or won’t speak of it.

This is further worsened when she won’t even talk about what she prefers in bed. Everybody says "sex sells," but most of girls clam up about the real thing in real life at every turn.

They blush at the mere idea of speaking honestly about their ‘horn” moments and gets even much worse when they can’t honestly speak about what turns them on in bed.

I am in unisex whatsapp groups, and we usually have topical discussions about Sex and relationships. The women who are so vibrant when talking about RELATIONSHIPs go mute when it gets SEX. They always have quite a reaction to the word.

For most they would rather have not heard it, and are quite embarrassed at the very thought of the conversation running longer than fifteen seconds and yet, for a few others it was the easiest topic to dissect.

So I recently decided to ask a one, Agasha (not real name), “What she does when she gets horny in public?” “Hillary, I know where this is leading to, but I will go straight to the point,” she said laughingly.

“When we (girl talk) talk about sex behind closed doors, we tend to talk about it with much more innuendo than realism. Sure, we know that women get horny,” she continued.

Which got me thinking, why don’t girls talk about sex openly, in public? Why is it so hard for women to have sex conversations? Unfortunately, we all know the answer.

Cognitively, it stems from how girls were brought up, and are still being brought up.

For most women, growing up in a society speaking openly about sex whether oral or penetrative, masturbation and gadgets (forget not, we is in a dildo generation) were all unheard of; a lady never spoke of such.

In our Schools, sex, was a red line. The epitome of indiscipline. “Coupling” was an indefinite suspension case. We grew up in religious families and sex, especially premarital sex was not only frowned upon, it was vilified as some evil, disgusting act.

And so that stayed with many women throughout their lives. Spilling over into womanhood and allowing that marred perception to become part of their very being.

Growing up, however, we all know, that people who have more sex report higher self-esteem, life satisfaction and quality of life. In contrast, lower frequency of sex and avoiding sex are linked to psychological distress, anxiety, depression and relationship problems.

Which brings me to the question…….How does one now change that perception, since it’s become a way of life?

Until the next article. A happy, Workers day!!!!

Hillary K Bainny

Hillary is the Founder of hillarykbainny.com. He is also the Uganda Youth Leader to UN. He is a Debate and Speech Protagonist. He is also the Founder of Public Policy Forum Uganda. He is a Sexual Revolutionist

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