Lets Rise Above Revenge-porn

May 31st, 2019 / Hillary K Bainny
| Lets Stop Revenge-Porn

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The act of uploading or sharing intimate pictures or videos without the subject's consent - has grown rapidly along with social media and the immediacy of phone apps.


For years, most victims of revenge porn; people who have had their nude photos shared online without permission - basically couldn't do anything about it.


Recent trends show that revenge-porn in Uganda is on the rise. Some of the recent victims we are familiar with and got national attention range from  Anita Fabiola, to Kleith Kyatuheire, to Desire Luzinda and now Martha Kay.


According to one study, over 50% of all adults engage in sexting, and 70% admit to having received a nude photo online or over the phone.


And yet, despite the fact that we all (or at least more than half of us) do it, there's still this weird, persistent, harmful notion that if your naked pictures get leaked or shared maliciously by an ex online, it's your fault for taking them in the first place.


There will be people who stand by the opinion that anyone who sends out an explicit photo of themselves is implicitly allowing for these photos to eventually become public.


Aware of the possibility? Yes. Allowing for it? No!


The unfortunate truth is that any time a woman is alone with a man, she is aware that harassment, sexual assault, rape, or some other form of violence is a possibility. Does that mean she's allowing for it? No!


Couples share intimate photos, letters, and experiences from a deeply personal bond. I still believe exchanging intimate pictures can be great under the right circumstances.


In long-term marriages, they can reignite imagination and passion. In long-distance relationships, they can keep you connected and playful.


In your relationship with yourself, especially the ladies, they can be an empowering record of the beauty of your own body that you can look back to when you are feeling bad about yourself, or even in the future after gravity has taken (further) effect and you want to smile at what a hot number you were.


When intimate photos of people especially celebrities begin circulating, our first reaction is to shrug and say, "It's their fault I'm staring at a naked photo of them that was obviously meant for someone else."


It's definitely the fault of the person who hacked or leaked the photos. It's not Martha Kay's fault, in this specific case. In fact, she did nothing wrong. None of them (all whose nudes have been leaked) did. They took provocative photos of their own bodies.


If a woman is less of a celebrity and her intimate photos get released, would we feel more sympathy toward her and would we be less willing to circulate them?


You should feel remorse. You should feel sympathy. If your first instinct was to forward or share with friends, then you were definitely not alone. And that's a huge problem.


And of course, there is the golden rule that should always be at play in a situation like this one. Basically, how would you feel if private photos of yours got uploaded to the Internet?


So before you share or even look at those photos, remember that these celebs are someone's daughter, someone's wife or girlfriend, someone's sister, someone who is an actual human being and not someone we have a right to gaze or ogle at.


If you accidentally walked into a dressing room where a woman was completely undressed, would you stand there and stare and giggle? Would you take a photo and send it to your buddies? No, you would probably apologize and shut the door quickly.


Shut the door on these photos and stop blaming the women who took them. Blame the person who made it their mission to steal them and profit from the fact that society feels that they deserve the right to see a famous person's breasts, regardless of how those pictures fell into their allegorical lap.




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